8 May 2018

Dear self

Some times all I can think about is how, I wish I was younger how I was I did things differently years before then maybe now I’d be more accomplished with my life. Then I think about how soon I am to being in my late twenties, which isn’t old but you know, I feel like I haven’t accomplished enough to be there yet. I don’t want this to be another negative post but this year ive been feeling all types of ways like maybe its too late to get where I want to be? Then again I feel like I have years until im even 30 so maybe I have time. Lately all I’ve been thinking about is how different the world has gotten throughout my life, I don’t know if any one else feels this way but, if you went through the time where there was no phones, no internet and now they control the world, you know what I mean. Politics and news is everywhere, people are everywhere on the internet, you can see everyone, there’s a lot more people here now because we can see them online and not just through a TV screen. For me I feel like that moment when all things changed went way too quickly and I was too young to realise what was going on and how to grab the moments and use them to my advantage. I didn’t push myself enough because I was just too young to see what was going on. Yet in some way I look back at what I did and feel like I did do some things correct and if I only just carried on doing them I’d be different. I don’t really need to go into what im interests were or what I did but I guess not perusing them was a downfall, but what I did instead was what exactly I wanted to do.
Its like this, I alwaaaays thought education wasn’t for me, since secondary school I knew that, education was something I just didn’t do very well, yet I love learning and yet I still wanted to go to university after saying I didn’t want to years ago, its almost like I make the correct decision and then change my mind because of insecurities. I really hope im not alone on this one. And basically I did and was good at a lot of things when I was younger which I cannot do now, but I do have the interest in all them things still. I basically wanted to reflect on some of the things I am feeling about my past life and show it to my future self when I’ve hopefully done a full circle.
I am extremely grateful for where I am today, its just that I wanted to reflect for a moment and then get back to living in the now.

reflecting is good, i encourage you all to do so.

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