blogging made me broke

Before I start this, I did actually write this a couple of weeks ago I was definitely at my lowest, I was so so down about it and suddenly things have turned around which is rather strange, as soon as I realised what was going on I put in all my effort into find a new job and stopped trying so hard with blogging as money just wasn’t coming in and I feel like as soon as I did this money started coming my way, campaigns started coming in, I found freelance work and I suddenly got hours at my part time job again, I’m over the moon that things are better, for weeks and weeks I’d worry but I was also trying so hard every single day to find work though it shouldn’t be stressing me out this much if you can’t live your life a certain way you have to find other ways to provide. I was almost so motivated everyday from the horrible pressure I put on others around me and myself. Things have changed so much now but I need to still show you all how I was feeling… 

Today is the day I tell you all my truths, well not all but the biggest one of my life in this moment in time. Its sad that things have come to this, and I’m not happy with it at all, and I’m not blaming anyone but myself here, I did this to myself, by accident or on purpose I don’t really know what happened and where this happened or why I’d think this could even work out.

When I finished university I definitely thought to myself why the fuck cant I go into full time blogging, I don’t want to do anything else. There are so many people out there that have gone straight into full time after university and it’s just not fair. I didn’t have a job all of university apart from the few campaigns I did on my blog etc, so therefore I did believe once I’m out of this university I should have enough followers or enough brands contacting me to go full time(I do contact brands also but I didn’t really know about it then, I honestly thought a lot of bloggers just put content out and brands just come there way). Anyway it came to the end of uni and I was no where near my goal of going full time and you know that was fine, I was doing it part time and I can get a job and it’s doing my dream and also doing something else that could maybe my dream job too. I got one of the best jobs I’ve ever had shortly after university. I really loved the job other than the conference calls every week lol. I was basically a marketing manager part time and it was fun, exciting, made some friends that I’m still friends with now?! That’s NEVER happened to me. I had an amazing manager too. It was all fine, it was all perfect you know for a while, money was okay, I was stable, I wasn’t blogging as much as now as I still don’t think I understood it fully and this job was a lot of pressure to make sure stuff was complete every single day so I didn’t exactly have much time to work on the blog compared to now. I left that job and basically went into another job straight away. And this new job was very part time, so I had more time to work on the blog I could come home and not have to worry about anything other than my blog...

Slowly but surely, this job turned into the most part time job ever and I slowly went into becoming a full time blogger without even knowing, and I liked it… I mean of course I did, this is all I wanted to do ever I didn’t care about anything else. I was doing well blogging wise, I was getting quite a few jobs and campaigns and had enough money to only work part time maybe only once a week in this job. Shortly after the one shift a week it turned into no shifts a week, yeah I didn’t know what was going on and no one seemed to care. I did however think blogging would be enough some weeks and my bills got paid and it was fine until maybe three weeks of not having worked at my part time job at all, I was utterly screwed. My blog had definitely taken a dip right after things were going fine, and if all my income takes a dip, what does that make me? The worst of it is probably seeing other bloggers that are definitely full time, buying new in pieces every single day, let alone me, how could the average person do that? It's crazy to think when I went full time I became broke though I see thousands of bloggers become the total opposite of this, i kind of doubt many people will relate here but if anyone can i'll be flabbergasted.

I became broke because I relied on two different incomes that were not in the slightest a stable source of income.
I’m going to have to get a full time job very soon and hope for the best. I really hope there’s other bloggers out there that understand this and what I’m going through then again I hope you haven’t made silly choices like I have. I will never give up on my dreams, but I now know you have to sacrifice them to be able to live stably (unless you have no bills/rent to pay maybe lol). Overall I know blogging didn’t really make me broke, it was me not realising it couldn’t keep me stable. I did however search my title and no one has ever said this before? 'blogging made me rich' was more searched, clearly i'm doing something very wrong haha.

If you’ve got this far into this you’re a star! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments or dm me on instagram! xo